Australians Love Alligators and or Crocodiles

I was reading my favorite online news source, the Quirkies section on, and I came across this troubling story. It details the theft of an alligator named Mr. Cranky Pants from a reptile park in Sydney Australia, who was then dumped in a nearby creek by his would-be captors. Here’s how the guy from the Reptile Park sizes up the situation: “Mr. Cranky Pants is a cranky pants, he gets moody and so they probably messed with the wrong alligator and dumped him.” Enough said. I know what you’re thinking, and yes, Mr. Cranky Pants is the best name ever given to an alligator.

But what is going on down under with the reptiles? Why are Australians so obsessed by them? I mean, I like slimy 6 foot water lizards that could decapitate me in one bite as much as the next guy, but I wouldn’t attempt to feed one my first born son. We all had a good laugh about the Crocodile Hunter during his 15 minutes, but he was quickly written off as an isolated nutter. But listen to what the attempted thieves had to do to get at Mr. Cranky Pants: “The culprits had scaled two barbed-wire fences and climbed into an alligator pit to steal Mr Cranky Pants”. So they climbed TWO barbed wire fences and then waded into an alligator pit. There are very few things in life I’d be willing to climb two barbed wire fences to get my hands on, and an alligator is absolutely not one of them. But man, these Aussies were desperate to get their hands on an alligator, literally risking life and limb. I don’t want to make a snap judgment or stereotype an entire nation, but I’d say Steve Irwin and that Cranky Pants story are enough to that a certain nation has an unhealthy obsession with the reptiles.

So to all our many Aussie readers, leave those reptiles alone. They’re just simple folk trying to entertain you in your many zoos and reptile parks. They don’t want to eat your children or be liberated at night by some drunken Crocodile Dundee wannabee (Even your most famous movie character is named after a reptile!). Spend your time on animals that clearly want to be with humans, like those boxing Kangaroos or Koala Bears like the one Jackie Chan had in his hotel room in First Strike.

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