With the First Pick in the Draft, Herohill selects…

The Raptors fired their GM Glen Grunwald on April 1st, and since that time they’ve done a first class job in fumbling the search for his replacement. As season ticket holders, Herohill is concerned that the Raptors are entering some dangerous territory right about now (well Ack the huge Celtics fan might not care at all, but I do). They’re coming off of back-to-back shite seasons, and they’re starting the most important time of the off-season without a GM or a coach. They’ve got Jack Mcloskey acting as GM and face of the team right now. This dude is like 75 and hardly ever in Toronto. He shows up the other day and starts answering questions, telling reporters that Dr. J is “not in the mix” for the GM position, while other sources are saying that he still might get a management position. Seriously, what is going on here? There are 30 teams in the NBA now, therefore there are only 30 GM jobs available. You would think that these jobs would be highly coveted by NBA types, even if they had to come all the way up here to Canada. HIRE SOMEONE.

In light of this situation, I’ve decided to advertise my GM skills by conducting the first ever Herohill NBA Mock draft. So without further ado, here it is:

1. Orlando, Emeka Okafor 6-10 PF

2. L.A. Clippers, Dwight Howard 6-10 PF

3. Chicago, Ok, I’m bored of this already

4. Charlotte, Rex Chapman 6-4 SG

5. Washington, Like it matters

6. Atlanta, Another French guy named Boris

7. Phoenix, Richard Dumas 6-7 SF

8. Toronto, A point guard that can pass and make jump shots for gods sake (Devin Harris, Ben Gordon, Jameer Nelson, Shaun Livingston – they’d all do)

9. Philadelphia, World B. Free 6-1 SG

10. Cleveland, Someone willing to carry Lebron’s luggage

11. Golden State, Some Euro quif

12. Seattle, Ditto

13. Portland, Does Sabonis have a Euro quif son they can draft?

14. Utah, Going out on a limb: a white guy

15. Boston, Anyone that will enrage Ack

16. Utah (from NY), Perhaps an off-white guy from Argentina or somewhere

17. Atlanta (from Mil), Spud Webb probably looks young enough to draft again

18. New Orleans, For gods sake a CB, ooops, wrong sport

19. Miami, Someone from Greece, make Mario’s dream come true

20. Denver, Someone with ‘Melo’ in their name

21. Utah (from Hou), I don’t care

22. New Jersey, A Red Head, they need a team of Scalabrines

23. Portland (from Mem), Snoop

24. Boston (from Dal), Someone from Michigan

25. Boston (from Det), A euro with a crazy name I can work into funny jokes

26. Sacramento, Euro quif, no doubt

27. LA Lakers, One of the other Walton brothers

28. San Antonio, George Gervin 6-7 SF

29. Minnesota, Forfeited pick (ha HA)

30. Indiana, Dr. Buddy Rydell, to manage Artest’s anger


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