Guns don't blow off testicles, drunken British idiots blow off testicles

I've decided this is the worst pub night ever. Some British quif blew off his nutsac with a sawed-off shotgun. Apparently it was just a regular night at a pub in jolly ole South Yorkshire when David Walker got in an argument with a friend of his after sucking back 15 pints.

Now I'm guessing this wasn't a very close friend, as Dave decided to settle the argument by returning to his flat for his sawed off shotgun. As an aside, when did the north of England become the new Compton? How are they packing sawed-offs there? So Dave got his 12-gauge and did what you'd logically do with a sawed-off shotgun - he stuffed it into his waistband. Not exactly the kind of weapon one can conceal in their pants very easily, but I guess that's how they roll across the pond. This is when things went bad. If you're a guy, these could be two of the worst sentences you'll ever read:

"But as he walked back to the pub, the gun went off, blasting pellets into his testicles.
Doctors later removed what remained of his testicles during emergency surgery."

Blasting pellets into his testicles, makes me shudder every time I read it. This may be the worst part of this episode, but it's not the end. After castrating himself in perhaps the most painful way possible, this punter was charged with possessing a prohibited weapon. He plead guilty (not much choice there based on the evidence) and he was sentenced to 5 years. 5 years! That is a mighty long time for shooting your balls off. If you did that in the States you get laughed at and perhaps given medical care, but in the UK you get half a Canadian life sentence.

So the moral here seems pretty obvious. Don't blow your balls off with a sawed-off shotgun in England, the jail time isn't worth it.


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