An Open Letter to the People of Holland

Hello.  Let me just say I truly enjoyed my vacation to your lovely country.  The scenery & history of the city, the Heiniken, the interesting cafes that are so different than the coffeshops I stop at on my way to work; these things were amazing.
 
This is not a rant from Austin Power's fav-er.  I was hoping to see Clarence Seedorf pull you through to the finals of Euro 04.  I love your bike friendly streets, and realized I have quite a affinty for clogs and windwills.  That being said, what the f is up with your fashion?
 
As I walked off the plane in a t-shirt and shorts, I looked as out of place as a man in a speedo and an ascot.  I thought Holland was remaking Flashdance, like Havana remade Dirty Dancing.  More legwarmers and ripped sweatshirts than I can recall seeing in one spot.  I have become accustom to the 80's fashion sense rearing its ugly head with the ladies on Queen Street, but not really the dudes.  Holland men, I agree, blazers are quite fashionable, especially with jeans (if you are the cool CEO from 1986), however, whe you are drinking and doing drugs at a festival, are they really that comfortable?
 
Holland, acid wash is not cool.  Shawn Lapaix and I tried to bring it back, and failed.  I am only trying to help you out.  I also see that you have adopted the faux-hawk.  This is ok.  It blew up in Toronto as well.  Personally, it is not my stee, but hey, I can see how it is popular.  However, jumping full on into the mullet??? Holland, come on.  The mullet is like buying all of Neil Diamond's cds, or like shaving lines into your eyebrows.  They are funny to talk about doing, but no one really goes through with the joke.  I understand with the ample opportunity to buy legal narcotics, your judgement might be clouded,  so this is just a friendly letter from a friend.
 
ACK


@ 10:04 AM, Anonymous kicked the following game:

So Brian, A little word here from your dutch tourguide. The fact that all countries over the ocean [inlcuding canada] have no sence of what the word fashion is really about[is it even in your dictionary????], eliminates your rigth to dedicate three quarters of your story about holland on our fashion..... For a country that actually still has Hippies?????? And stores for them to buy cloths from. Rednecks that wear the 80's style, and actually bought them in the 80's??? And the rest of the country basically wearing the exact same cloths..... You all could start public closets... You wouldn't notice the differnce! In Europe however, we follow fashion, which means our clothing style actually changes from when you were 13.... It keeps it interesting, and it produces indivuduals!!! which in our culture is a good thing.... Now I must admit, that it is not your fault, you just don't know any better... Fashion just doesn't reach the other side on time..... And I also have to admit that in the world of T-shirts you actually have a very inlightend point of view, but please tell me what you liked about the dutch, instead of talking about something you have No clue ABOOT!!!!!
A very loving, reesestick eating, laughing friend

 

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