Wednesday, September 22, 2004

I'm sorry, could you repeat that?

The music business is a stressful industry. There can be no denying that. Whether it be Yanni trying to book the Acropolis, Nickleback trying to record the same song five times without anyone noticing, or having to spend your last days with Eddie Vedder and Rob Zombie at your bedside (RIP Mr. Ramone), the stress adds up.

However, the stress level has skyrocketed to an all time new level. Front man Chris Martin is so stressed about writing his next hit record, that he claims it is making him go bald. I'm not sure, but I thought was already losing his hair when he first filmed that stupid video for "Yellow" when he was walking on the beach. Apparently, the stress of writing a record is so great, that it causes baldness even before you start thinking about it. In fact, I think the stress of even writing this post about the stress of the music business caused me to lose weight and be skinny for the last 15 years.

Mr. Martin, you aren't fooling anyone, nor have you ever. Rule number 3 in white guys hair is: when it starts to thin out, you shave it low and hope no one catches on (apparently, rule number 2, according to Kevin Spacey, is to use hair in a can). So, we all know you are folliclely challenged, telling us two years later when it really starts to thin out isn't going to make us say, "oh crap. He wasn't bald because of genetics, it is because he cares so much about making an album we can all love. What a great guy. Maybe I won't download the album, I'll actually buy it."

So Chrome-eo. Just admit the facts. You're bald. No one cares, not even Apple.

Posted at 9:03 AM by ack :: 2 comments

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At 10:11 AM, Blogger Mike did sayeth:

HaHa...Nickelback trying to record the same song 5 times without anybody noticing. Awsome Acker. Nickelback sucks.


At 5:25 PM, Blogger mario did sayeth:

I hope that wasn't a shot at Yianni?


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