Thursday, September 9, 2004

No, I am most certainly not Gellin'

It's a real shame Dr. Scholl has been dead for ages, because he's certainly due a cock punching for the annoying "Are you gellin'?" ads his namesake company continues to torture us with. I mistakenly assumed that the first ad was perhaps someone's inside joke. Someone at an ad agency convinced the old Dr. Scholl fuddie duddies that they were doing a commercial with the new slanguage the kids like and then laughed their ass off when it actually aired. But no, they've actually made another one of these ads and judging by their website they have a whole campaign around it.

The first one was bad enough. They had some dudes talking about these gel insoles and the one guy says "I'm gellin' like a felon" and then the other goof says "I'm gellin' like Magellan". WTF? You're gellin' like someone in jail? I don't know much about jail, but I don't think you have much access to novelty insoles. The only gel in the pen gets washed down the drain after some dude gets a rogerin' in the shower. And gellin' like a 15th century Spanish explorer? Riiight that makes sense. How many Americans even know who Magellan is these days?

But now they've got a new commercial that takes place on the floor of the stock exchange. How very 80's of Dr. Scholls! They should've got the two old dudes from Trading Places. Everyone else is freaking out, because the stock exchange is CRAZY, but the people with the gel insoles are on cloud nine. "I'm taking a shellin', but I'm gellin'" "My trades are smellin', but I'm gellin'". Yes, we get it by now, you are rhyming words with gellin'. But here's the thing, none of it makes any g.d. sense. It sounds like Greg Nice writes the copy for your commercials. "Dizzie Gillespie played the sax, but I'm gellin' to the max". I swear to god if that shows up in the next commercial...

Posted at 9:43 PM by naedoo :: 0 comments

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