Eminem Is Not His Lover

Michael Jackson is outraged that Eminem has lampooned him in his new single "Just Lose It" and it's accompanying video. In the video Eminem dresses like Michael in his Thriller days, cavorts on a bed with some little kids, has his hair catch fire, and then has his nose fall off. While some of it is kind of mean, none of this is new ground where making fun of Mike Jackson is concerned. Comedians are doing jokes like this and worse about Jacko on a daily basis. You'd think he would've got his cosmetic surgeon to fit him with a thicker skin by now (see, even I'm doing it unintentionally, or intentionally, whatever). But no, The King Of Pop "is calling on all networks to pull the video." Yeah, that'll work. What makes people (kids in particular) want to see a video more than anything else? Tell them not to watch it. Now that he's come out so strongly against it, everyone is going to want to see what the fuss is about. Which is exactly what Eminem wants. The song is a mail-in performance by him seemingly designed to prove he can follow his formula of shocking lyrics and a video with him dressed up in crazy costumes is a hit even if the song is fairly crap. And Michael is just helping him do it.

Mike, let's you and me rap for a minute. Clearly you have no one giving you any real advice these days, so I'm going to help you out. Leave this Eminem thing alone. Yes, the song is kind of mean and he takes some liberties with you in the video, but that's what he does. He has said worse things about his ex-wife and mother in a song than what he was saying about you. He's just trying to get a rise out of people, so don't give him what he wants. Here's the other thing, he's way more popular than you right now. Going head up with him won't mean good things for you. I mean, did your last record even go wood? I liked that song with Chris Tucker in the video, but the rest wasn't doing it for me. You need to be careful, you're about 10 minutes from being irrelevant. You're bordering on entering fat Elvis territory my friend, but you've got even bigger problems. Namely these kids that keep getting you arrested and suing you. You need to stop that from happening, it is doing much more harm to your rep than Eminem ever could.

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