An Open Letter to People at Concerts.

Hey,

Thanks for paying the horrendous service charge at Ticketmaster to come support live music. It is great to see so many of you here, especially for a show when you only really know the song Rick the Temp introduces once a day on MM. Oh, wait, here comes the band.

Ok, now we have our first problem. You, tall guy. Did you purposely find the shortest people to stand in front of? You are 8'14". I think you can manage to see from other spots directly in front on the stage. I know, I know. You are pissed that you have to buy custom pants and shirts and shoes in your sizes are hard to track down, but seriously. C'maaaan guy. Give us little people a break. Take the 180 and see if you are standing directly in front of a 5'1" girl who too wants to see the show, not just hear the sounds of the band coming from your back.

Excellent, my favorite part. The band has started talking. Stage banter makes the show so great. What the f*&k is she saying? All I can hear is the four people screaming amongst themselves directly beside me. Did you really pay twenty bucks each, and overpay on beer to come and not hear the band? Seems like an odd decision. For 80 dollars, you each could have had the CD and stayed at home chatting about Sex in the City, or why your roommate is a dick for screwing your old boyfriend (two of the major topics I heard last night). People, if I buy you a drink, will you stop talking so we can enjoy the show? Let's see what they have on tap, "Keith's, 50, Coors Light, and, oh here it is... Ice cold shut the fuck up. Can I have 4 pints of that please?"

Now I realize that sometimes, bands have trouble replicating the studio magic they perform. They can't travel with 30 musicians, and producers and they can't always get the sounds perfect. This is to be expected, however, they do travel with other members of the band. Background vocals and harmonies are one thing you can count on. There is no need for you to scream along with them. They can't hear you, but we sure as hell can. If you had a voice that warranted it, go on Canadian Idol and see if you can get a gig. If not, you are simply ruining for everyone around you. I know you think you sound just like the band. I thought I did once too. You don't. TRUST ME.

Ah, the show is finishing up. They have said good night. Wait, where are you going? The lights haven't come on. Did you know that they have this thing called an encore? They will be back on to play some songs, including the one you actually came to see. Unless you actually hated the show, why would you leave before they play two more songs? Well, I guess if you leave I don't have to hear you talking or singing, so maybe you should just go.

Thanks for your time,
B

PS - Don't even get me started on people making out at concerts. It isn't a junior high dance or a club. Please save the face sucking for your alone time.


@ 2:14 PM, Anonymous kicked the following game:

just a suggestion: you should check out My Victoria. i think you would dig them. great blog BTW.

 

@ 8:50 AM, naedoo kicked the following game:

Thanks kindly, we will check out this My Victoria you speak of.

 

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