Vin Diesel Is The Penniless Man's Arnold

Vin Diesel does not even deserve to be called the poor man's Arnold Schwarzenegger, yet somehow he maintains a successful movie career. Unbelievably, his latest movie, a "comedy" called the Pacifier where he's a Navy SEAL playing nanny to some wacky kids, was the number one movie at the box office this past weekend. As the review mentions, the film got terrible reviews, yet somehow it made 30 million bucks. Have I mentioned it's a comedy that stars Vin Diesel? How is this possible?

I guess I shouldn't be surprised, considering the Director of The Pacifier has directed such classic films as Bringing Down The House, A Walk To Remember and The Wedding Planner. I mean you put this guy together with the phenomenon known as Vin Diesel and you've pretty got box office magic before the first take. But there are other reasons for the success, as detailed in this USA Today article: "Vin brought his core fans out, Disney's Chuck Viane says." Hold up, Vin has core fans? Well color me surprised. Here's another surprising fact: "More than half (the audience) were 18 and older". What? Who are these people? If you consider yourself to be one of Vin's core fans, are over 18, and saw this movie immediately simply because Vin Diesel was in it, Herohill needs to hear from you.

But here's what bugs me, everyone is comparing Vin to Arnold, saying this movie is like Kindergarten Cop. Pretty much the idea that Vin is going to follow Arnold's route of being an action star that crosses over into comedies. But therein lies the difference, Arnold was a huge action star. What has Vin Diesel done? XXX? The Fast and the Furious? C'maaan, those couldn't even hold a candle to Arnold's lesser work like Commando or Red Heat. Arnold worked in "Fish Out Of Water" movies because he actually was a fish out of water in Hollywood and probably anywhere else he went besides the gym. He was an enormous Austrian bodybuilder playing a pre-school teacher and Danny Devito's brother, that is funny. Vin Diesel is a weird looking bald dude with some tattoos. He's a muscley bald dude playing a babysitter, oooh, how strange! What's more, Arnold got the joke. He knew everyone was kind of laughing at him and his wacky accent and sketchy acting, but he didn't care. He rolled with it. Vin Diesel seems to think he's a very serious actor, who's taken on a comedic role. Probably didn't hurt that he was also taking on large stacks of Disney cash.

I can't wait to not see The Pacifier 2.


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