Wednesday, March 16, 2005

We Don't Know Randy Orton

I thought I'd take a few moments to clear up some confusion for the young ladies from Britain and elsewhere that keep leaving comments in our celeb mail section for WWE superstar Randy Orton. Here's the deal ladies: we don't know Randy Orton, we don't really care about Randy Orton, Randy Orton surely doesn't care about us, and we're 99.9% sure he's never read any part of the site. I think you can see where I'm going with this, he's not going to get your messages.

Or maybe you couldn't see where I was going. It seems pretty obvious that you haven't read any other parts of the site besides Randy's dreamy email reply, so perhaps you're just glossing over this as well looking for any bit of Orton info you can get. Well let me help you out, the Celeb Mail section here at Herohill is filled with joke emails. We send wacky email to people and hope they respond. That was the case with your boy Randy. Mario emailed him to tell him the reason he wasn't successful yet was because he wasn't Greek. Mario went so far as to provide him with a new Greek wrestling name: Haralambos Ortonis. If you actually read Randy's response, you can see it's just a default response, he doesn't even mention Mario's idea of becoming a Greek wrestler. Which clearly he would've had he read it because it's a kickass idea.

So there you have it girls, Randy doesn't even read his email, so you can rest assured he doesn't read our little site which is having some fun at his expense. Because I'm cool and listen to The Streets, I can tell from your slang that you're British, and perhaps websites work differently over there. Perhaps you can just post a message for a famous person on any site where they mention their name, I have no idea. But it doesn't really work that way over here, you'll have better success if you post on a site Mr. Orton is actually affiliated with.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you should end your pursuit of the second-best wrestler named Randy (seriously, he couldn't carry Macho Man's jock with a forklift). After all, Randy is quite a catch. He is, as you say, he is "proper fit capital f". So Darlene & Kez, I say good luck in your quest to have Randy Orton marry both of you. I guess there's as much chance of that happening as there is of him reading your posts on Herohill.

Posted at 10:44 PM by naedoo :: 0 comments

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