Harmless Sequel Or Sign Of The Apocalypse?

This spring and into the first few weeks of the summer, there were numerous stories about Hollywood's big box office drought. The Fantastic Four seemed to pick business back up, and the Wedding Crashers (this is gold, see it) and Charlie and The Chocolate Factory (also good) helped continue the hot streak. But there didn't seem to be one definitive answer why people had been staying away from the theatres. Well I think it's pretty obvious: un-original crappy movies. Remakes of old TV shows and movies has been the trend for years now, but I think it's reached it's zenith this summer. It seems like every movie is a remake right now: War Of The Worlds, Bewitched, Mr. And Mrs. Smith, Herbie: Fully Loaded, Batman Begins (although I'll admit this was very good), and The Dukes Of Hazzard. Some of these movies might be good, but you can't blame people for not flocking to see them. People already know what these are about, there's no mystery of curiosity with any of those films.

But as un-imaginative as that crop of movies is, none of those is the biggest offender in the realm of re-hashed films. That honor goes to a movie that has not even been released yet: Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo. Seriously, in what parallel universe would anyone think this is a good idea? How much money could the original Deuce Bigalow have made? This truly blows my mind. Not only is it a sequel to a totally throw-away movie that had about 5 funny moments in it, but it uses the old "the sequel is totally different, we're in Europe!" routine that has been used like crazy since Chevy took the Griswolds to Europe for their second vacation.

I'm guessing there's some kind of Stonecutter-like secret society that's keeping Rob Schneider in pictures. The Animal, The Hot Chick, Deuce Bigalow 1 - some stellar films for the ole resume, you'd think he'd have had his last shot already. I mean he does fine work in Sandler movie cameos, but to say it's surprising that he's the lead in another movie is like saying Takeru Kobayashi can eat a few hot dogs. But someone must have believed on this project, unless Mr. Schneider bankrolled the whole thing himself. It does seem that the director doesn't want to be associated with it though, as he's listed on IMDB as "Mike Bigelow" and this is the only movie he's directed, so surely he's using the ole fake name to avoid the stink of this movie rubbing off on him.

I'm surprised no one has ever made a movie out of Rob Schneider's annoying office nickname guy from SNL. Would be an original idea for this day and age.


@ 9:45 AM, mario kicked the following game:

Here are some other bad sequels coming out as well; Hollow Man 2, does anyone even remebre Hollowman 1? Kevin Bacon was in the first one. Also, there will be a sequel to "I Still Know What You Did Last Summer" which was a sequel for "I Know What You Did Last Summer", this one is rumoured to be called, I'll Always Know What You Did Last Summer." And last but not least get ready for "Road House 2, Last Call." Unfortunately Patrick Swayze is not starring in it, but maybe he should, what has he done lately?

 

@ 9:30 AM, James kicked the following game:

It never fails to amaze me how some of us refuse to get it. Not everyone in the United States is a film expert. Some of us out there don't want to spend 2 hours with Orson Wells. I wish it were not so, but most folks in the US would rather spend an hour and 15 minutes giggling at jokes about man-whores then trying to untangle the metaphysics of a life lived.
I love Citizen Kane but I can sit through Deuce Bigalow and laugh a few times, and cringe often, but I am not offended by its existence.

The Movie Industry is a business and their primary goal is to make money. When a studio exec takes the time to try and make something better we should applaud him.
However it is silly to think that there isn't room for the Eddie Griffins to make dick jokes.
I enjoy films and I just cannot get angry when I make the decision to walk into a theatre and Deuce Bigalow 2 is playing. I sort of know what the film will be like.

Right....or is there a version of Deuce Bigalow starring Sir Laurence Oliver and Morgan Freeman that I missed.

 

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