Herohill loves Ron Artest


There are lots of celebrities that are pseudo-crazy. You know, they do drugs, say stupid things, but more or less, they just say something or do something stupid, and the media reports it out of context. There are very few celebrities that are actually certifiably crazy. One of those people is NBA superstar Ron Artest.

The Hill has talked about Ron Ron before, but in the last year he went from a little bit nutty to full on lunatic, and we for one couldn’t be happier. Both Shane and I have always liked Artest. He is an old skool player, who plays completely out of control. Flagrant fouls, sure. Cheap shots, doesn’t mind if he does. That being said, his on the court antics only encompass about 1/10th of his actual craziness.

Ron’s tom foolery started very early on. As a rookie in the NBA, Artest decided he loved stereos and electronics. That seems normal, most guys do. In fact, most rich NBA players like to get themselves some boomin’ systems for their trunks and the crib. Most NBA players however DO NOT apply to work at Circuit City to learn more about them. Can you imagine the job interview that would happen there? “So, Mr. Artest can you work weekends?” “Some. At times I’ll be away making millions playing in the NBA, so you might have to cover for me.”

Then there was the pay-per-view challenge issued to the human under cutter, Bruce Bowen. After Bowen was awarded the NBA defensive player of the year, Artest was outraged, and challenged Bowen to a pay-per-view game of one on one for the trophy. Seems like a sound idea except for a few facts:
:: One on one with two defensive wizards would be as exciting as watching chess
:: Bruce Bowen is terrible on offense, and he might not be able to get seven points in a left hand lay-up contest
:: Even if Ron won, David Stern wasn’t going to say, “Well you proved me wrong. I will overrule the vote of the writers and award you what you deserve.”

Ron also loves creating music. He is an aspiring rapper, and started his own record label. This label is called Tru Warier. Apparently Ron is so street that spelling things correctly would damage his creds. Lots of NBA-ers have tried the rappin. Shaq Diesel, Allen Iverson, Chris Webber and the list goes on. However, most NBA players don’t ask for time off during the season to promote their music and rest. Ron asked the Pacers if he could take time off from the regular season to recover from the exhaustion of promoting his music. He actually thought that the Pacers would understand and see it as no problem.

Of course, he got time off in another way. Ron helped deliver a black eye to fans and the entire NBA by starting a brawl in a Detroit Pistons/Indiana Pacers game last year. He was suspended for the season and forked over 5 million salary. After an incident like that (causing harm, basically alienating yourself from the good graces of people everywhere), unless your last name is Bertuzzi or Artest you try to get back in good standing. Ron Ron decided to release a video game that allows you to fight during the game. That’s right. If people are playing too physical, you can simply travel to the boxing ring and duke it out, Sonny Liston style. This isn’t on the court brawling that “can get you suspended”, it is straight up boxing. I’m not sure if Artest or the creators of this game ever heard of Arch Rivals, but the ole fighting/boxing games don’t always go together.

Right now, Ron is trying to balance the life of an NBA player with the life of a street stud. He claims he wants to represent NY to the fullest and keep his new album street. His new album is so street that he followed Heavy D’s advice and didn’t curse. That’s right, a ghetto album with no cursing. The album features some pretty big name people like NAS, Havoc and from the album single, rap superstar , Mike Jones. Artest describes the track as, "It's a 'hood 'Rocky' type joint. It's gonna get you amped up, get you ready to throw a couple of punches." I'm not sure I want Artest involved with anything that makes you want to throw punches.

In promoting the album, Ron has tried to show there is a song for everyone, no matter what your style. He has club jams, jams for the ladies, jams representing NY and jams for the old folks. The old folks love a rappin’ Ron Artest. Ron has said his album is predicted to sell 5 million copies, which would make it the best selling album probably in forever (that wasn’t attached to Nickleback or U2). Where did he get this prediction? Well, I’m sure he made it up, but who cares, because chances are if Ron Ron says it will sell 5 mill, he will buy the extra 4,998,765 needed to make up the difference.

I’m not sure how many other things I can talk about in one article. Maybe the fact that Ron wanted his court shoes designed to look good with jeans, in case people want to wear them to the park with their kids, not to play ball in. I know most people in the NBA would be concerned with the performance of their kicks, not how they look in jeans, but they aren’t ARTEST.

These are only some of the reasons we love Ron. The best thing about him is he will give us more gold whenever we want. So for Artest’s about to rock, herohill salutes you. With all the Feschuk crap being written, it is a treat to open the paper and hear about you.


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