The new Bond is.... who cares?


Ok, seriously. Am I the only one who doesn’t care about who is the next James Bond? I mean, bully for Daniel Craig, nothing against him for being named the 6th James Bond, but do people still wait on the edge of their seats for a Bond release or the announcement of a new Bond?

Unless this new film has Q building a rocket booster to help James jump the shark even faster, I think the idea has run its course. Roger Moore in the floating hover car or in the iceberg sub getting fresh with the ladies – I’m on board. Sean Connery kicking it with a jet pack? Push my chips to the center, I’m all in, but once we moved to an American Bond, my interest fell. Hearing Timothy Dalton butcher that accent, I expect him to say “Martinis? No way, give me a BUD. Q, instead of the Ass-tin Martin, can you get me a Chevy Nova?

Once you have more Bonds than there were Becky’s on Roseanne, or Darren’s on Bewitched, pull the plug. I mean, Remington Steele was perhaps the best Bond ever, but even still, it was like seeing Christian Bale in the newest Batman. So many have been there before, it didn’t matter how good he was, or how good the movie was, you have to compare the newest incarnation/story line to the movies that made the character famous.

Even more discouraging is that purists are upset that Bond is blonde. Ah, I’d be more concerned that Bond is balding. They only thing he is shaking not stirring is his Rogaine. The weird thing is when it comes down to it, most of the Bond fanatics are male so I don’t know why they care. I know people were up in arms about Jessica Simpson being a blonde as Daisy Duke, but that was men complaining about changing one of the biggest sex symbols of a generation. It would be like making Marilyn or Jenna a brunette (fake blond, whatever). I know these films will attract a huge audience and have some scantily clad actresses holding on to careers as Bond girls, but can’t they let it die? It doesn’t really matter who they cast, because the idea of Bond is becoming much like a Dan Brown book. It’s just a slight variation on the same idea, and that idea, although once good, is now played out.


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