The Double Hs - No TV And No Beer Make Homer Go Something, Something Award

Go Crazy? Don't Mind If I Do!!! As you might gather from that classic Simpson's quote, this award is being given to the person who went the bat-shit-craziest in 2005. Honestly, this one was a no-brainer. It goes to mega-star and svengali Tom Cruise. Although the pint-sized Scientology enthusiast is perhaps a foot shorter than the average male, in 2005 he was head and shoulders above everyone where wackiness was concerned.

In the past Thomas Cruise Mapother IV was relatively guarded about his private life, not wanting to discuss in detail his failed marriages to Mimi Rogers and Nicole Kidman or address the rumors that he's secretly in love with wang. But not this year. This year Little Tommy cut looser than Robert Downey in a cocaine factory.

His love for all things Scientology reached a fever pitch, and he couldn't keep all his brilliant thoughts to himself. The Cruiser basically took a dump on psychology as a science and said that taking medications for mental or psychological issues is a fraud. Thank you Tom Cruise! Finally we can all save time and money on those meds and shrinks that were keeping the insane among us from randomly stabbing us. We'll just get on your Scienterific plan of taking "vitamins" and we'll all be fine. But big Tom had to play like the Rock and lay the smackdown on some non-believing jabronies. He took Matt Lauer and his weird shaped head to task for being "glib", then he dissed Brooke Shields and said her career was failing because she used drugs to cure her post-partum depression.

C'maaan Tom, you need to leave Brooke Shields alone, we all have! She got dissed by Agassi, couldn't get cast in an infomercial, and ended up having two kids with some schmoe named Chris Henchy. Wouldn't that give you some depression too?

As if all that nonsense wasn't enough, there's the whole Tom Cruise-Katie Holmes fiasco that really seals Cole Trickle's crazy deal. I won't go into detail about this, unless you've been locked in a bomb shelter like Brendan Fraser in Blast From The Past, you know what's gone on here. Basically Tom Cruise has taken one of the hottest up and coming actresses in Hollywood and brainwashed her into taking up the Scientology, having his baby, giving up acting, and agreeing to marry him. The whole relationship is off it's rocker. He's bought his own sonogram machine and is going to use it on her, I mean does anyone that's even half-sane think that's a good idea? Mark my words, this relationship is going to end badly. When Katie Holmes snaps out of it and realizes she didn't actually marry Jerry Maguire, she's going to leave him quick fast. Remember you heard it here first.

I hope Tom Cruise can handle this truth: without a doubt he was the craziest bastard we saw in 2005.


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