Who Will Save Ron Artest?

We love Ron-Ron here at the hill, as you are no doubt aware if you've read any of our previous posts on Mr. Artest. If you enjoy both basketball and wackiness as we do, then you can't help be a fan of Ron Artest. And since we've been following his wackiness for the past few years, we figured there was no way Ron could surprise us. Well the #1 TruWarier proved us wrong by requesting a trade from the Pacers.

Yes, now, after sitting out almost the entire season due to the donnybrook he started in Detroit as well as going through the entire off-season and training camp, Artest has decided he'd like to be traded. But in true Artest fashion he didn't actually tell the team he wanted out, he dropped this bombshell in the Indianapolis Star last weekend.

The Pacers claim they knew nothing about Ron's feelings, which strikes me as odd because I'm guessing Ron just says whatever comes into his head, not much filtering going on there. Either way, Ron has put them behind the 8-Ball jacket now because teams know they must trade him, and they also know he's crazy. Teams probably aren't going to be willing to give up much for a guy who could snap at the drop of a dime and trash their locker room like a drunken Nick Nolte at a Holiday Inn.

And that would be minor league stuff considering Artest started the ugliest player/fan brawl in the history of the NBA. But why does Ron want to be traded now? He gave the newspaper a few ridiculous excuses, such as: "They probably could win more games without me", "Artest said he wants to play in an offense where he's allowed to shoot more", "I still think my past haunts me here", and "Every time somebody is on me it's a mismatch. It messes up the offense. I like Coach [Carlisle] as a person, but I don't like playing for Coach". Even if Ron-Ron actually believes all of these things, why wouldn't he have said them before? Why get 20 games into the season and then decide "Yep, I actually don't want to be here after all, trade me to New York".

Oh yes, in Ron's ideal world, he ends up in New York. Now there's a great idea. First-off, he'd be around more knuckleheads and thugs than a 2Pac convention. Ron had a hard time focusing on basketball in Indiana. The only thing they have in Indiana, besides Peyton Mannings' huge forehead, is basketball. He asked for some time off to promote his album with the Pacers, in New York he'd probably try to perform J-Rocc style impromptu rap concerts at MSG. Secondly, the Knicks suck. If Artest went looney on a good Pacers team, I can't imagine the Chernobyl-size meltdown he'd have with the Knicks. He's saying he needs the ball more, well the shot-happy Knicks guards would need to look up the word "pass" in the dictionary before they could get him the ball.

Seeing as how I enjoy Artest and his antics, nevermind the fact that he's also a great player, I'd like to see him remain in the league. But the way he's going right now, he's going to end up a basketball freakshow, vagabond like his idol Rodman. He'll end up playing in the Swedish league in exchange for studio time with Ace Of Base's producers. And that would be sad. So someone needs to step up and give Ron some solid advice on what's best for his career. But I know this isn't easy, as the giver of the advice might be given a chair over the head in return.

So what's moral here? I think, as fans, it's pointless to ask "why" when Ron Artest is involved. He's like the Picasso of sports wackiness - we should all sit back and enjoy his genius. I just hope we get to enjoy it in the NBA for years to come.

@ 7:35 PM, Anonymous uyuyuoi kicked the following game:

i hate you


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