The good, the bad and the menchy

It’s been a hectic week. NBA playoffs have started, MLB has begun boring us, and the NFL draft is this week. Throw in the NHL playoffs and some great music and entertainment news, and you have yourself easy pickings for a post.

So let’s break it down to the good, the bad and the ugly:

  • Tapes N’ Tapes – signed to XL records. The Loon is one of my favorite albums right now, and these boys deserve some distribution.
  • The NBA playoffs – it’s pure insanity. The games? Not really, but more the bonkers commentators. Did anyone else see Jalen Rose talking during the Spurs/Kings game? It was awesome. He got hit with a towel from Nick Van Exel and didn’t even break his train of thought. He’s easily the most entertaining guy in sports right now.
  • Islands touring with some crowd interactivity - Here is a report from the RHode Island show. "I saw Islands with Why? and little-known emcee Cadence Weapon on Thursday night in Providence. The crowd was seriously lacking due to a Wilco, Ted Leo, and Ok Go show for Brown U's Spring Weekend (they also had Common, Edan, and Yerba Buena...seriously, what the fuck... they spent like $200,000 bucks on this shiz...all Wheaton got was Zox and The Slip....not bad, but not exactly The Ritz either...ok, back to the point), only about 50 or so people there, but nevertheless Islands was brilliantly exciting, as expected. Dressed in almost-matching white outfits, they trekked through every song off of their debut... Nick Diamonds was especially entertaining: among other things, he tossed himself all over the stage, dumped water on his head, jumped into the crowd to dance while stealing a fan's hat for a song, smashed his guitar, and THEN, and here's the best part...THEN he brought his band (instruments in hand) and the entire crowd across the street from the venue to an Elementary School basketball court to play shirts vs skins...that is, until security rolled up. Amazing."
  • Cub Country with a new seven-inch and some Seattle dates

The Bad
  • Robert Horry and Kenny “the Jet” Smith - I’m sick of players with limited game riding coattails of stars and talking about championships. Every comment out of the Jet’s mouth is like, "these people don’t know how to handle the pressure of big games and interviews." I’m not sure if handling the pressure means passing to Hakeem and getting out of the way or dunking after bouncing the ball between your legs, but if not, Kenny might not be the guy with the most relevant opinion. I almost hate playoff time because I know I’m going to hear about Big Shot Bob eleventy billion times. We all get it. He’s played on some great teams and hit some great shots. But I’m not sure he’s the missing link. He’s like the Jason Mewes of the NBA. Sure he has some funny lines and has been involved in some great projects, but getting him to be the star leaves you with this.
  • Lethem’s new book – The Disappointment Artist. Accurately named, as this book was a huge disappointment. Lethem’s a fantastic writer with a lot of creativity. I’m sure when he wrote these essays about comics, terrible westerns and his Star Wars obsessions, he didn’t expect it to be pubbed. But he’s big time now, so like volumes of Kerouac’s letters (which I also own and don’t enjoy), anything he writes gets shipped to print. If you are a big fan, avoid this book.
  • Kobe Bryant changing his number - I’m so sick of Kobe. He’s a huge bag of douche. He broke up a dynasty so he could take terrible 19 foot fadeaways and be the cock of the walk. Because since not enough people were talking about him, Kobe decided to switch his number from 8 to 24. Logically, I assumed this was because he decided he was going to take three times more shots next year and get rid of everyone who wants to shoot. Have you seen that squad? Kobe has more yes men than a politician. The Lakers went from a team that had a chance to set the record for wins to a team where Luke Walton and Smush Parker get serious minutes. Next year I wouldn’t be shocked to see the Lakers pick up that autistic kid – J-Mac – because Odom is taking too much of Kobe’s glory time. Not since Jordan, has someone this high profile changed his number, and like Shane said – “He’s like Jordan reinventing himself after his baseball exile, except Kobe’s reinventing himself after being a rapist.”

The Ugly
  • Tom Cruise as a father – easily the scariest thing ever. He terrifies me. He wanted to eat the placenta, he left to promote MI:3 six days after Holmes gave birth, and he made up a word to name the kid. Suri Cruise has less chance on surviving than that Firewalker or blocked-up Bruce. She’s a Behind-the-Music, why did she kill herself and her parents story waiting to happen. On the plus side, I coined a new term. People go crazy all the time in this day in age, but not many people go bat-shit crazy like out pal Tom Cruise. Henceforth, super nutters like him no longer go crazy, they go cruisey.
  • Kevin Mench – not knowing his shoe size. MLB super goon Kevin Mench was formally known for having a gi-normous melon. Not anymore. This rocket scientist told the team he wore a size 12 spike. After playing the first part of the season in pain, he finally realized that his shoes were way too tight and switched to a size 12.5. Since that time, he can run, has hit 6 dongs, and realized he is stupider than your common 2nd- grader. That’s my team!

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