Ack vs Mack: World Cup 2006 Style - Group A

Does Herohill enjoy the soccer (or football or futbol or whatever floats your footie boat)? You bet we do Pele. As everyone knows, World Cup 2006 kicks off today in Germany. Now Ack loves the hometown Germans, and Naedoo aime le Francais, but really we love watching the whole tournament. So we thought it only made sense to give our loyal readers our 2 cents on each team in the tourney.

We start today with Group A, enjoy:


Seriously. I know the Germans are my favorite team, but how can they not be yours? It's like playing soccer against 11 Dragos from Rocky 4! The German team is like using that up, up, down down, left right thing in Contra. You get 30 of the exact same guy. So awesome. I think the real reason I love them is because they actually hate to run, much like I do. Not in that - I'm a huge fatty and hate activity way, but in the way they love to let the ball do the work. They play a counterattack style, and don't fly all over the field relying on one player to make something happen - which is good, because that one player for them is Michael Ballack, and he's got a shit calf right now. They let their opponents make the mistake, and under the pressure of the big stage, a lot of teams do (Spain, I'm looking at you). Homefield is going to make it tough to beat Germany, so look for them to easily advance from this round (unless Lehman is a huge bag of douche and does something Arsenel-esque).

Costa Rica

Two words: Paulo Wanchope. Quite simply, Costa Rica's main goal threat has one of the top moniker's in the world cup - certainly on the herohill all name team. That not enough for you? Well Costa Ricans call themselves "Ticos" for no other apparent reason other than they like small names for things. Cool names aside, how will Costa Rica fair at World Cup 2006? Well they picked up steam near the end of their qualification and based on their entertaining yet competitive play in 2002, I'd say they have a legit shot at the round of 16. Being in a group with Ack's Germans and their all-important homefield advantage means they're fighting for second place. But if you're Poland or Ecuador, you have to ask yourself, what are you going to do when Wanchope and the Ticos come for you?


Poland is feeling good about themselves. After losing only twice in qualifying (both times to England), Poland feels like they can make some noise in 2006. And they've made a bit of noise before, finishing 3rd in both 1974 and 1982. Led by guys like Celtic's Maciej Zurawski and Borussia Dortmund's Ebi Smolarek, the Poles might not be household names in Europe, but they're plenty talented. Plus they also have the advantage of playing the tournament in a country beside their own, so plenty of their fans (some of whom have claimed they will be attacking English fans with axes, meat cleavers, and bats) can be on the scene and to provide a pseudo homefield advantage. But hey Poland, just don't get too cocky. Remember what happened the time Mark Kuchapski thought he could sass the Miz? That's right, Miz flattened him in seconds. That could happene to you with Germany in the Miz role if you aren't careful.


Do I know much about Ecuador? Not really, in fact I had to talk to my friend google to find out who was on the team. They have Ivan Kaviedes, which is cool, because he was a guy we traded for in Winning 11. That means he has some skill, but is cheap - but it also means I have loved him at some point. They also have two awesome dudes with the same last name - TENORIO. Seriously, maybe that name is like Smith in Ecuador, but it seems cool to me to have two dudes with that name. I was hoping they were twins, like the Sedins in hockey - and since you probably won't do the research to prove me wrong, THEY ARE! I'm not sure if the nation of Ecuador is down with Tribe Called Quest or the Leaders of the New School, but they totally need to start the chant - "Here we go yo, Here we go yo, so what so what's the Tenorio". Regardless, they are in a tough draw, Poland is playing so close to home, Germany is top-tier and they have no Wanchope. Sorry Ecuador, it seems you will be gone before I really get to know you.

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