Elvis Stojko: Canadian Idio....err....Idol

Ok surely you all recall my posting detailing the renaissance man/phenomenon that is former Canadian figure skating champ Elvis Stojko. Well that was quite the controversial post (by controversial I mean some people actually read the post and left comments about the content, which is more than I can say for Mr. replica louis vuitton handbags and his ilk), so when I heard Lil' E was making music news again, I thought the hill ought to have an official response.

So here is our official response: hahahahahahahaha

Seriously, E-Stojk is letting everyone know he has finished recording his album. I'm sure you're dying to know what process Elvis has made in his music endeavors, luckily the wait is over. "Stojko described the impending release as 'hot' adult contemporary that's 'just more edgy.'" Oh my, hoo boy, well there that is. Honestly, I don't even know what kind of music he's describing. I mean I assume it's gonna be awful, but I don't know what this particular brand of awful is going to sound like. Hot and edgy adult contemporary? Is that like Clay Aitken doing Nicklesack songs? Although come to think of it, Ol' Clay would probably do those crap songs better than Captain Kroeger-man.

So if you're a former figure skater/karate and dirtbike enthusiast planning to record an album, you'd better get yourself a good producer. A good producer gives you a fighting chance of not sounding like a complete idiot. So who did Elvis get? Well none other than Mark Lalama, the guy that plays the piano on Canadian Idol! Awesome, I like the chances for those two the make beautiful adult contemporary music together.

Just so you're not holding your breath any longer, super-producer Lalama hopes the album will be in stores by Christmas. Which is good timing, as that will allow it to be in 99 cent bins everywhere in time for boxing day sales.


@ 2:03 AM, I hate elvis kicked the following game:

I think elvis stojko is mentally ill! The guy has always been a bit freaky, but now he's totally insane. He has a hideous buzz cut now, so now he's butt-ugly by choice. He really thinks this music career is going to take off? Everyone's just going to laugh at him. He was a good skater, but his singing sucks. I'm not the only one that hates it, critics have described it as "nasal" and "awful". I thought he was the co-owner of a martial arts club. What happened to that career? And what happened to his girlfriend? I don't think she was at his farewell skate. Maybe I'm wrong. It will be sad when his music career flounders and he tries to get back into skating. It's sad, really. I kinda feel sorry for him, he was once a great champion and now this. I don't know why he didn't just become a skating coach, that seems like the sensible thing to do after retirement.

 

@ 8:54 PM, Dee kicked the following game:

I've heard his singing is good by reports on another forum people who bought the Braided cd.Where have you read bad reports.I don't think he's mentally ill.He's just trying new things.Have you heard him sing? I haven't.His hair will grow back.He's still part owner with Glen Doyle.I'm not sure about his girlfriend.I wondered if they broke up.If his singing career doesn't go well.He wouldn't have any trouble getting back into skating.COI os CSOI will hire him in a heart beat.

 

@ 2:50 PM, jealousy isn't good for you kicked the following game:

Wow, look at the calendar, it's August again, time to bash Elvis!

That's obviously what floats your boat, if it were knee-slapping humor it might be different.

Maybe you always wanted a shot at a singing career and didn't get it, could that be the problem? Lie down on the couch, empty your troubled soul, I promise, I won't send you a bill.

For God's sake, at least wait till the guy's CD comes out and you actually hear it till you crucify him. I'm certain someone near and dear to you will be sure to see that a copy of it makes it into your Christmas stocking.

If after hearing it, it sucks like you predict, I promise to pop back in and let you know and see what else your crystal ball predicts for the future. In the meantime, I think I'll give the guy the benefit of the doubt.

To the poster who commented that they hate Elvis...wow, a strong word...funny though, it appears you pay pretty close attention to him...his haircut - which by the way is sort of the preferred style of lots of guys now...his financial endeavors...his love-life...and what he should do in his retirement - good grief, are you sure you hate the dude?

If you have a dream, or desire, what's wrong with persuing it? If you succeed, that's great and if you don't, at least you tried. I give all the credit in the world to someone who isn't afraid to try something new. If Elvis succeeds, good for him and if he doesn't, he knows damn well how to get back up again.

 

@ 4:33 PM, dee kicked the following game:

Your right if they hate Elvis they wouldn't put so much effort into posting about Elvis.They have been posting all over the net.Elvis isn't skating now so they can't dis his skating.All is left is his looks.I haven't seen any articles saying Elvis' singing is bad.I'll wait until I hear it before I say it' bad.

 

@ 6:25 PM, Ack kicked the following game:

Are you guys for real? You do realize that this is a blog, not CNN right? We write sports articles saying Naj Davenport is the best football player alive because he shat in a girl's hamper.

Do you think we are waiting on pins and needles to hear if Elvis can trip the contempory light fantastic with his album before dismissing it? Well, to save you the time I'll answer the question for you. We aren't. He could be singing a song about herohill and our world reknown love making abilities. We'd still laugh at his album, and his kung fu stee.

We care about Elvis as much as we care about the people who find it necessary to defend him... oops, I mean, thanks for reading!

herohill
PS - If this is Elvis logging in trying to hype your album, we're on to you.

 

@ 6:27 PM, Ack kicked the following game:

PPS - Herohill's been around for 6 years. We've mentioned Elvis like 3 times, so saying we are posting all over the NET is a stretch: much like you guys telling the girls you meet in your chat rooms that although you are into figure skating, you balance it by being a hitman who rescues orphans and puppies on his day off.

 

@ 6:58 PM, dee kicked the following game:

I'm talking about the person I hate elvis.Not you or this blog.

 

@ 7:14 AM, Naedoo kicked the following game:

I've said this before and I'll keep on saying it, if you're the kind of person who doesn't see the humor in Elvis Stojko doing hot and edgy adult contemporary music, then herohill probably isn't the site for you.

Certainly we're glad you stopped by after finding us via the google, but based on your comments I'm guessing you take yourself way too seriously to enjoy the nonsense we provide here at the hill.

So while we certanily don't mind if you comment your brains out here, you'd probably be doing everyone a favour by posting your rants about following your dreams over at chickensoupfortheformerfigureskaterssoul.com. At least there you'd find your target audience.

In closing let me say I don't hate Lil' E in the slightest. Good on him for winning medals and whatnot in the world of figure skating. But the music thing is basically a joke, so it gets treated as such. Outside of the solid jazz bass stylings of Wayman Tisdale, can you name me one athlete who has been treated as a serious musical artist?

Exactly, I expect to hear the same silence from you after Elvis drops his album.

 

@ 11:44 PM, dee kicked the following game:

an article about the Braided cd with review of Elvis duet. http://www.foxesonidol.com/cgi-bin/ae.pl?mode=1&article;=article1975.art&page;=

 

@ 1:15 PM, elvis is weird kicked the following game:

the only reason it was a positive review is because it was written by someone who works for CI. everyone else thinks stojko's singing sucks.

 

@ 2:26 AM, elvis is ugly kicked the following game:

now do you believe me when I said elvis was bald and ugly. check out the hall of fame induction pix. he looks really short and ugly next to the other guys, even though they're considerably older than he is.

 

@ 2:28 AM, elvis is weird kicked the following game:

he looks hideous in the hall of fame induction pix. the shaved head makes him look even shorter, fatter, older and uglier than he already is.

 

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