Monday, April 2, 2007

News:: The White Rapper Show

Without a doubt, last night marked the debut of the best reality show in the history of television. Forget midgets on Amazing race, nudity on Big Brother or the fat kid from Stand By Me’s brother trying to seduce the ladies. No, all of those are now history with the debut of Egotrip’s The White Rapper Show.

Now, off the top, let’s just say that none of the white people on this show appear to have any potential as emcees. I think that is the second best part of this show. The first is that the judge is MC Serch. Now, Shane and I are probably older than a lot of bloggers, but 3rd Bass was in fact the jam growing up. They played a show in Halifax which was unreal, and for months (ok years), we gave everyone the gas face. The Cactus album was the first of many battles between the original members of herohill. Shane told Shawn not to let me high-speed dub the cassette, but I did.

Serch has what most hosts on reality TV lack – personality. He uses words like bon-kares, and basically clowns all the people on the show, which is much deserved. As I said, none of these cats seems to be able to rap, but they all seem to be awesome stereotypes of white rappers. You have the drunk hillbilly (100 Proof), the dorky backpacker (Dasit), the Lady Sov clone (Misfit), the grilled out dude (I don’t remember his name, and he isn’t really worth my bandwidth to google, the fat raw white chick who “is hip hop” (Persia), and of course the guy who says, “most of my friends are black.” All in all, you can’t beat that mix.

Overall, the show is a trainwreck. One guy John Brown, aka The King of the Burbs talks about revitalizing the ghetto, and tries to start trouble with the fatty. The “beef” is awesome, especially when it breaks down into her calling him the N-word over and over again. That word should never be used, and Serch calls her on it and the next day when they go play putt putt gold, Serch makes her wear a huge ass chain with a chromed out N-WORD emblazed on it. Serch also makes them walk around South Bronx and rap for their neighbours, and one Grandmaster Flash. Needless to say, their flows were not well received.

The final challenge is to write a verse, and spit it to Serch. Worst verse means you get kicked off. Essentially, no verse was any good, but Dasit decided he didn’t like the idea, so he wrote nothing. Then Serch called him on it, words were said, and Dasit it had to turn in his kicks. Even more awesome, as you walk away, a dud edressed up like a roach sprays you with a wack spray. All in all… herohill will be on this show like white on rice.

Posted at 11:32 AM by ack :: 0 comments

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