Reviews:: Ghostface - Rehab According to Pretty Toney

Pretty Toney has the info you need
Earlier this week I was planning to write a little something about Ghostface's new album The Big Doe Rehab. Not a review per se, as it's been reviewed by a site or twelve-hundred, but just my thoughts on the album as it's one of the biggest hip hop releases of the year, and I know you kind folks are always dying to hear my thoughts on the big hip hop releases. But that was before my belated birthday gift from the Ack arrived: Ghost's new book The World According To Pretty Toney. Based on the wisdom often found on Ghost's legendary skits, and compiled by some dude from MTV, this guide to life from the Wally Champ is as awesome as you think it is.

So clearly it required me to share some of it's excellence with you. As I said, it's essentially a mini-coffee table book with nuggets of life-advice from Ghost with some accompanying pictures to illustrate each point. The best section, in my humble, is the first, which deals with everyday issues like hygiene, grooming, and fashion. These seem like basic topics, but there really is some helpful advice in here, such as:

Take a shit before you leave the house - Nothing is worse than having to doo-doo when you have important shit to do.
Things that will make you shit: Coffee, cocaine, whole milk, White Castle, collard greens

- Simply smart business, but I know many of you don't even consider this. So next time you're doing a line of blow in the Tim's drive-through while waiting for your extra large triple-triple, stop and think "Do I have anything important to do after this?"

Real Men Take Showers! Leave the bubble baths to the ladies.
- Are you a real man? Do you take bubble baths? Well you can't be the former if you take the latter.

DON'T ROCK CAPRI'S, G.
- Honestly, I couldn't agree more.

He also has a section called Bobbin' And Weavin' which has plenty of advice for the young man trying to get his grind on out in them streets. It includes helpful advice like this:

Be nice to the crackheads. sometimes they're all you got.
- Of course if you're an Ice-T styled pusher, you would take this literally, but I think the rest of us all have people in our lives that are akin to crackheads, and you never know when you're going to need them, so be nice.

There is also a section called wizdom, which provides helpful relationship advice for men on how to get along with the lady (or "wiz") in you life. Gems like this:

Survey says, your wiz must wait at least 8 months before she can take a dump at your house.
- Word.

That's but a mere taste, but as good as that is, there's more. The book comes with an audio CD, which finds Ghost discussing the topics from the book, and then some. You can find these audio clips on the web already, but only your friends at the hill took the time to slice out some of the better ones:

MP3:: Ghostface - Birdbath
Ghost dismisses the "birdbath" as a grooming ritual and gives the proper order for washing ones coin purse and face.

MP3:: Ghostface - Brush Your Tongue
Do you know where your stank breath be hidin'? If no, then you should hear this.

MP3:: Ghostface - No Capri's G
I feel this is essential information. Plus he blasts dudes that wear the biker spandex, which is more than awesome.

MP3:: Ghostface - Mother Earth
Think Ghost can't get serious for a minute and talk about the environment? Guess again chumpstyle. Where did all the bees go?

After that, do you still need me to discuss The Big Doe Rehab? Well all right, let's have a brief discussion. Is this Ghost's best work? No, I don't think so. Is it still excellent? Yes, I think so. Nobody in hip hop as ever painted word pictures of shootings, drug deals gone bad, and the monotony/excitement of everyday life in the hood quite like Ghost, and that certainly continues on this album. As usual with Ghost, if you take the time to actually listen to his lyrics, you be fed a steady diet of lyrical gems. The Wu is also represented well with appearances by Raekwon, Method Man, u-God, Masta Killa, and Cabbie-donna. Theodore Unit regulars Trife Da God and Shawn Wigs are also on the scene along with Ghost's son, uhhh, Sun God. The beats, if not mind blowing head-nodders, are all of high quality. Ghost's recent beat preference has been gritty, dirty drums matched with soul samples, and that continues on this album. It's just plain solid, check it for yourself.

MP3:: Ghostface Killah - Toney Sigel aka The Barrel Brothers (f. Beanie Sigel)

Video:: Ghostface Killah - Toney Sigel aka The Barrel Brothers (f. Beanie Sigel)


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