It is not a unique opinion to hate hipsters or scenesters, so I know I am not splitting the atom with these proceeding comments. I have just reached a point where I wonder how these people can take themselves seriously. Last night, I was at the Decemberists show at the Horseshoe. The opening act was a clownshoe who’s act included:

1) reading from his fifth grade journal

2) karaoke singing over old horrible albums, including air banjo solos

3) dropping a view original songs about his Pinto Squire and Morning Wood.

Needless to say, this guy had an act that was one step above the guy on the corner who plays the harmonica all day, but these hipsters ate this shit salad like it was McCain’s deep and delicious cake, and came back for seconds. I know art is subjective, and not everyone understands the message of every artist, but I am so sick of scenesters rubbing one out to anything that is different, just because it is different. We know you don’t really like Waylon Jennings, and we know you all don’t like writing haikus on paper plates in Crayola crayons. If you follow the evolution of a scenester, 95% of them have been huge dorks since birth, looking for a crowd to accept them, and are cashing in on the fact that being a dork is heroine chic for the time being. So a plea to all hipster doofii, please just admit most of the shit you claim to be genius, or changes art is just shit that you don’t really like and talk about to seem unique and interesting. NO ONE CARES.