Friday, March 11, 2005

Prime Time, still hot doggin' it

It is sad to see a hero fall from grace. However, it is funny as hell to watch a celebrity crumble. Luckily celebs in our society are more self destructive than a rich dude with a coke habit. Before I get into this, I have to admit I was a huge Neon Deion Sanders fan in years past. I was down with the "crip walking, gangsta creeping" celebration dances. I was down with him talking in the third person. I was down with him telling us he found God, and telling us the reason was "not even Deion can outrun the lord". I was down with him making up phrases and using them in reference to himself ("i'm the original cover corner"). I was down with him and Rison having a slapsies fight on the 50 yard line. I was even down with him doing a song with Hammer for that Van Damme movie. I am not down with this.

Deion decides to venture into George Foreman territory and market a kitchen appliance. Unfortunately, Deion chose put his name on a "hot dog express". Deion, what happened? I know you got dropped by CBS for that loud mouthed Shannon Sharpe, but you made an NFL comeback. You had to get paid some loot from the Ravens.

More importantly, who wants a jumbo sized hot dog cooker? Is there a market for this? Is cooking them in boiling water or a microwave that complex? The infomercial is gold. These people are buying into his hot dog maker like Deion is selling bottles of orgasms. One dude, who is actually wearing a Deion jersey (I'm sure this is just a coincidence), talks about the hot dog like most people talk about their first sexual encounter. "I put in in my mouth, heard a pop and juices exploded in my mouth... and it was delicious!" Ah what? We are still talking about the hot dog right?

Deion is a good salesman though. He informs the viewers that this doesn't just cook hot dogs. It cooks smokies, sausages, breakfast sausages, kielbasa and any other hot dogged shaped food. But wait, their is more. If you take out the rollers, you can cook hamburgers, onions, shrimp, potatoes, carrots and pancakes! Don't worry that they will be cooking in the area where are the fat drips off the hot dogs, and will taste like hot dogs, Deion has put his name on this product! I was actually going to go out and spend $600 on an industrial sized hot dog cooker, but like a big return in a playoff game, or an important INT, once again, Deion has saved the day.

Posted at 8:34 AM by ack :: 1 comments

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At 8:14 AM, Anonymous mom of five did sayeth:

I have been looking for a Hot Dog Cooker like this for years. My family loves Hot Dogs and we prefer them cooked in this fashion. I for one would buy the product because of what it does not because of who endorses it.
By the way, who is Deion Sanders???


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