Thursday, June 1, 2006

Dear Dirk

Ahh Dirkie, can I call you Dirkie? Well considering I'm not actually talking to you, I think it'll be fine. Why so angry my friend? In watching you over the last couple weeks in the NBA playoffs I've noticed you seem to be perpetually upset. I can't figure this out.

I mean really, you're constantly yelling at your teammates, barking at the refs, arguing with Tim Thomas and scowling like that useless bastard Van Horn farted in your plush Mavs-style locker. Seriously, you always looks like Reggie Evans was behind you squeezing your German man-junk. Lighten up my friend, things aren't going that bad for you.

Your Mavs are playing the Suns in the Western Conference final, and before tonight things were all knotted up at 2 apiece. That's impressive guy. I know you're getting abused and goaded by Tim Thomas, a dude the Bulls told to go home and not come back. But still you're lighting it up. Well not last game when you had 11 points on 3-13 shooting, but still, you've scored your share. And I know you're relying on Van Horn and Diop to play major minutes for you, but it can't be all that bad. Although people do still call you "Dirk Diggler", which is a horrible nickname, but really it shouldn't make you that mad.

But never mind those things. And the fact that you're probably going to lose to the Suns shouldn't even bother you. Not sure if you've heard, but Germany is hosting the World Cup this month. So it's perfect timing, you guys get knocked out, then you can head over to Germany for some Knackwurst and soccer. So turn that huge toothed frown upside down and smile. What's that, you guys don't smile over there? Oh well forget it I guess, be all mad, what do I care. Go Suns.

Posted at 10:21 PM by naedoo :: 0 comments

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