News::Chris Martin Should Sit in Beach Chairs, Not Produce Them

Hip Hop dudes making music with rock or indie cats is the new black, a trend I somewhat hamfistedly tried to point out recently. Done well, these kind of collabos can churn out some very unique music. Done poorly, the result is often a directionless mess. Which is to say, it can be very bad.

That being said, you can guess what I was expecting when I perused the track listing for Jay-Mogul's new album and saw the final track labelled thusly: "14. Beach Chair (produced by Chris Martin)". If you can't guess, I'll fill you in - I thought it was going to suck. It's no secret the hill doesn't enjoy Mr. Paltrow, so why would we expect him to have the chops to produce a decent hip hop track? Why would Jay-Z expect him to either?

Well simply put, I doubt he expected him to. And in reality, the track isn't horrible, it's just bland and not up to the quality of the other tracks. It sounds like an over-dramatic Eminem throwaway. Jay-Mogul is the heaviest of the heavy hitters in the rap biz now, so he has his pick of the creme de la creme beats. I mean he has 3 Just Blaze beats, 5 Dre beats, 1 from Kanye, 1 from the Neptunes, 1 from Swizz Beats, and then one from Gwenyth Paltrow's husband. "One of these things is not like the others.....

But I can understand why it's on there, the cache of working with the frontman from one of the world's biggest rock groups reinforces Jay's baller status. He even name drops Gwenyth and Chris in one verse, so he enjoys the association. Plenty of dudes get beats from Just Blaze and even Dre, but how many get beats from Coldplay himself! Not many. And what have I proved? Not much I suppose. Jay-Z and Chris Martin are vain bastards - not a news flash.

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